butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
