Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
