about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
