He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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