Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
