he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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