i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
