Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
