Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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