Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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