dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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