I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
