do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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