But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
