Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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