i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
