moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Terrible idea I love it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
