I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize