So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
