But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
