bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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