69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
