Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
