Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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