dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
