the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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