I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Never underestimate the power of titties
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