i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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