I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
