so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
