maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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