I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
