I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
