we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
