$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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