Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize