maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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