It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
