Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
