By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
