Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
