this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
