i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
