this boner is exhausting
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
