The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
