He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
