just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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