If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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