I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
