Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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