All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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