my phone cant type all the emotion im having
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
