Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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