before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
