I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
