At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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