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just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
