I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
