she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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