More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
