Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
