Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Some milfs here doing some blow

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

Dad?

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(512): View more from Texas

Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.

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(302): View more from Delaware

this must be what syphilis tastes like

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"

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(206): View more from Washington

He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?

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